Quality #1: Mentors Are Approachable

What does it mean to be "approachable?"

• Being warm, open, authentic, friendly and easy to talk to are signs of approachability. When a mentor is approachable it signals a desire to engage in conversation.

Why is that important for mentors?

• If you aren't seen as approachable, you may not be able to connect and engage with your mentee. This is especially important at the start of a mentoring relationship. You will need to start out strong, not cautiously and skeptically. Being approachable allows you to hear your mentee's questions, issues, and concerns and address them in a timely manner.

The following exercise gives you a chance to take a negative mentoring experience and turn it into a positive one.

Exercise (feedback)

Did your revised scenario look something like this?

You are very busy and behind on completing a report for your principal due today. Your mentee approaches you and tries to get your attention. Despite your tight deadline, you know you can find five minutes to help your mentee at least get started on his idea for an invention. You save your document and close your computer and look up at your mentee. "Peter, how are you today? I have five minutes I've saved just for you, so tell me how I can help you."

If you are new to mentoring, you will find some great suggestions for building and maintaining a mentoring relationship with your young innovator in the reading below, "The Effective Strategies for Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in Schools and Communities," sponsored by the Hamilton Fish Institute on School and Community Violence.

How to Demonstrate You Are Approachable

Sometimes, we think we are coming across as friendly and approachable to aspiring young innovators, while our body language and sometimes even our words, say the opposite. To ensure that you exude approachability to these creative young people,

• Be aware of your facial expression and smile. If the face our young innovators see is warm and friendly, they will feel positive and confident about their mentoring relationship with you.

• Acknowledge and greet your mentee enthusiastically. Enthusiasm is contagious and, if you're enthusiastic, so will your young mentee.

• Make eye contact frequently. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who seems to be looking past you, at others in the room? Your reaction could have been anything from angry to distracted. Therefore, when communicating face-to-face with your mentee, be sure to make and maintain eye contact.

• When you ask questions, do it in a non-threatening way. Questions that infer judgement or your mentee perceives as having one right answer, are intimidating and create an uncomfortable atmosphere to build a mentoring relationship.

• Be available when your mentee needs you, if at all possible. While it is not always possible to suddenly turn away from your current activity to respond to your mentee's needs, when you establish a process with your mentee, you might jointly identify appropriate and inappropriate opportunities for spontaneous, unplanned encounters.