Phase 1: Preparing for Your Mentoring Relationship

In order to move forward successfully as a mentor, you should spend time preparing for your relationship.

Here's what you can do:

• Understand your motivation
• Why do you want to be a mentor? What's in it for you?

• Get comfortable with mentoring skills
• What skills are you bringing to the relationship that will enhance your mentoring?
• What skills are you missing?

What can your mentee do to prepare for the relationship?

You can help your mentee prepare for mentoring prior to your first meeting.

Here are some things you can have them think about:

• People who encouraged their growth and development.
• How those people encouraged their growth and development.
• The motivation of the people who encouraged them.
• Why the mentee wants to be mentored.
• What the mentee would like to learn.
• Skills the mentee would like to strengthen and/or develop.
• The expectations of the mentee.

Preparing the Relationship

At the initial meeting with your young mentee, focus on building your relationship. Even if you have a history with your mentee, don't bypass this important phase.

Take time to get to know each other

• Share your history, journey, and relevant stories to get to know each other in a meaningful way

Determine relationship needs

• Make sure you both know what the other is looking for as a mentoring partner. Mentees need to articulate what they want from their mentor. If their needs exceed your bounds, then clarify your role.

Set clear expectations

• What do you expect from your mentee in order to engage in a successful relationship? Make sure your mentee is fully onboard with your expectations and not just agreeing to be polite. What do they expect from you? Are you willing and able to deliver on those expectations?

Determine his or her learning preferences

• Talk about ways your mentee prefers to learn (e.g., verbally, in writing, a combination) and make sure you have a clear picture of what will best help them move forward.

Reflect on the implications of their learning style for your relationship

• What have you learned that will help you facilitate their learning?

What questions might you ask your mentee that would help you get to know more about your student/mentee? Here are some sample questions to consider. Take time to think of your own as well.

• What do you like to do in your free time?
• What is your favorite subject in school? Why?
• Who is your favorite hero from history?
• What quality do you like best about your best friend?
• What quality does your best friend like in you?
• What are you most proud of?
• If you could have one super power, what would it be? Why?
• What is your favorite movie? Why?
• If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?